In three weeks, I finally get to see the Book of Mormon Musical! I was frankly surprised about the negative reactions of some of my friends and family when I mentioned that I got tickets. From what I have been able to gather from listening to the soundtrack, all of the beliefs attributed to Mormons are fairly mainstream. My working theory is that the cognitive dissonance experienced by many Mormons has nothing to do with their doctrines being inaccurately represented. Rather, they are uncomfortable because they know that their cherished beliefs are preposterous to anyone who has not been carefully indoctrinated as they have been.
One of my favorite songs from the soundtrack, I Believe, was performed at last year's Tony Awards. My comments on some of the lyrics are in brackets.
I believe that the Lord, God, created the universe. [True]
I believe that He sent His only Son to die for my sins. [True]
And I believe that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America
[Not true. Ancient Jews built only one boat. Mormon Sumerians built submarines]
I am a Mormon,
And a Mormon just believes. [Mormons are some of the most credulous people I know]
I believe that God has a plan for all of us. [Mormons believe that the plan is to make them into Gods]
I believe that plan involves me getting my own planet.
[Note quite true. Mormons believe they will each have their own universe]
And I believe; that the current President of The Church, Thomas Monson, speaks directly to God.
[True. The most recent revelation to the world: only one earring per ear]
I am a Mormon,
And, dang it! a Mormon just believes!
I believe that Satan has a hold of you [True. Satan causes people to doubt Mormonism]
I believe that the Lord, God, has sent me here
And I believe that in 1978, God changed his mind about black people!
[True. See Mormon Racism]
You can be a Mormon..
A Mormon who just believes!
I believe that God lives on a planet called Kolob.
[False. God lives on a planet orbiting the star Kolob]
I believe that Jesus has his own planet as well.
[Earth is Jesus' planet. LOL!]
And I believe that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri.
[True. Where else could it be?]