Saturday, November 17, 2012

Why God never received tenure

  • He had only one major publication. 
  • It was in Hebrew. 
  • It had no references. 
  • It wasn't published in an established journal. 
  • He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects. 
  • The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 
  • When one experiment produced unsatisfactory results, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
  • When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
  • He expelled his first two students for trial-and-error learning.
  • He never came to class; instead, he just told students to read the book.
  • Some people claim he let us son teach the class.
  • Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
  • His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop and only for select students.

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